Happy New Year!!

2013 was a year of immense spiritual growth in my life.  I was crowned Ms. Wheelchair  Washington in March and Ms. Wheelchair America in July.  This fast and upwards promotion in my life was both a blessing and a huge challenge.  As I began to travel around the nation, most of the time alone, I realized some very broken, depleted parts of myself.  In the midst of the joy of being promoted I also experienced severe anxiety, sleep deprivation and emotional weakness.  In this bitter sweet year I learned so much.  I dug deep into the presence of God and asked for healing and wisdom.  These are a few nuggets of wisdom that I learned this year...

TALENTS: Read the Parable of the Talents Mathew 25.  God has given each of us talents. These talents are meant to be seen and shared with the world.  As we shine, we give glory to the Father and share in His happiness.

DESTINY: Romans 8:28 "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Time and again this year I have seen how God works for my good.  There were miracles big and small of happenstance, provision, and changed lives where I saw God working for my good as I walked in the purpose He has for my life.

WEAKNESS:  2 Corinthians 12:10 "That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."  I have never felt so weak as I did this year at times, when I was anxious or sleep deprived or lacking resources, God always provided the strength I needed.  I am learning, that as I admit my weakness and bring my needs before God, He is present and comforting.  Although I have been promoted, I must not put myself on a pedestal, for the higher I raise myself the farther I have to fall, but if i fall in a humble stance, I fall into grace.

LOVE:Romans 8:35 "Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?" I need love and so does everyone in the world and God has an infinite supply.  I discovered that I thought needing love was weak.  A lot of us suffer from an orphans mentality about love.  Mostly because many of us have felt withheld from in many circumstances in life,  but God does not withhold His love, He pours it out infinity.  I have began to open my needs before the Lord and in tears ask Him to meet them, and He does.

2014 holds many blessings and I have many needs in  order for them to come to pass.  So I lay them at the feet of my King, trusting that He can do far more than I cam imagine. HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

My worth

As I have been preparing for the Ms. Wheelchair America pageant I have retreated away from chaos into retreat.  This has been both a miraculous and lonely place.  I have had the shackles of my heart removed.  This is a count of the things I have experienced and heard from the Lord.  Last week the sermon was about love.  1st Corinthians 13 love.  I left the sermon perplexed, frustrated and questioning.  Overall realizing that I have not really loved the Christ loves.  I am intolerant of negativity and disrespect.   I am self protective and I am lonely.  Loneliness is the open door that the devil uses to lead us into temptation. I have been drawn to temptation many times because of the pangs of loneliness.  I have a huge wave to ride and my desire is to be deemed worthy to ride it.  A couple prayer times mark my breakthrough.  I was praying about my hearts desire for a husband.  I heard "Don't settle. Ask him to fight for you. For you are worthy. " I think many women don't fight for their worth.  It is easy to allow the pangs of loneliness to make alliances with less than what we are worth, just to not feel lonely.  "Require the fire for any man who wants to hold your heart."  The other thing I have been praying about is the reason behind why I see that I am worthy of a banquet, but have seemingly only had  access to crumbs.  I heard "Jenny, you have turned crumbs to gold because you have made the most of every opportunity. You have cried out from your lowly place and you have been answered." Will you allow God turn your crumbs into gold.

Getting ready

The Ms. Wheelchair America Pageant is only 2 weeks away!!! I can't believe it!! I need an outlet to process my thoughts and get feedback and I am using this blog entry to do so.  The pivotal moment in this competition will be the final speech. Each contestant has 2 1/2 minutes to share their platform speech and convince the judges that they are the best choice to be Ms. Wheelchair America.  Here is a rough draft of my speech...

I was born with partial limbs in 1979, adopted at birth by amazing parents and raised in a small town in Western Washington. My parents had a calling to adopt children with special needs so I had 5 other siblings with special needs.  The laws that required public schools to educate students with disabilities were very fresh when I entered the public school system.  Segregation of mainstream students and disabled students was still occurring, which aggravated my parents to hired a lawyer and fight for my education. They won, which allowed me to receive a mainstream education and be included in the mainstream classes. This was both a privilege and a challenge, as I had the opportunity to get a great education, while also experiencing being teased and bullied, especially in my middle school years.  A gifting for public speaking, and performing was made apparent early on in my childhood. This passion kept me strong throughout  the challenging times of experiencing peer rejection.  When I went off to college at Pacific Lutheran University in Tacoma Washington,  I had a much different experience.  I was in a very inclusive environment and got involved in campus ministry. I was surrounded by friendship, acceptance, and positivity! These new experiences empowered me and brought to life the destiny inside of me to change the world with the message, that beyond your limitations is fulfillment and life's purpose. The dream of being a public speaker and performer began to become a reality.  Through my twenties I worked and went to school studying Radio Broadcasting, and a Masters in Counseling, preparing for my career. After receiving my Master's degree I had the privilege of working as a career counselor at the Tacoma School of the Arts, which functions in the inclusion model of education.  It is here that the vision of my motivational speaking business was made a reality. In 2011 I started my motivational speaking business SHIFT and began sharing my story in schools.  This March I was crowned Ms. Wheelchair Washington and my platform is "The Power of Words". This opened the door  to many more opportunities to reach youth with a message of acceptance and awareness.  In the three months of my reign I have spoken at over 20 events, schools, daycares, and preschools.  Many efforts are already being made to change the antiquated system of Special Education in American public schools and more needs to be done to have all schools in america switch over to this model of education. As Ms. Wheelchair America my vision would be to take  the message of "The Power of Inclusion" to the schools of America.  I would  advocate to change legislature and the laws surrounding segregation of students with disabilities to be included in mainstream classrooms with their peers. Thank you for your time and consideration!

Equity

I know it's been a while since I submitted an entry.  After being crowned Ms. Wheelchair Washington my life has been a whirlwind of events.  I am so blessed!!! My business has grown exponentially, I found an author for my Children' book, and I am running for Ms. Wheelchair America in July.  With all these good things happening the sweet in my life is very sweet and the bitter has a bit more of a bite.  These successes have strained relationships in my life and I find myself feeling more alone than ever at times.  On the other hand I have gone from feeling invisible to being seen by the world.  This is very exciting and at the same time very scary!!!  Being seen means being pursued by many.  I have the tendency to say yes to anything that sounds like a good idea.  On a few occasions recently I have jumped into agreements and decisions that seemed like a good idea but ultimately leave me feeling anxiety.  Thank God for grace. Proverbs 6 says "My son, if you have put up security for your neighbor , if you have struck hands in pledge for another, if you have been trapped by what you said , ensnared by the words of your mouth, then do this my son, to free yourself, since you have fallen into your neighbors hands: Go and humble yourself; press your plea  with your neighbor, allow no sleep to your eyes. Free yourself like a gazelle from the hand of the hunter, like a bird from the snare of the fowler."   I have learned that there is a way out of unwise decisions, but my goal is to tell anyone who asks something of me, that I will get back to them in 24 hours.  As I continue to pursue God's plan for my life and get more Kingdom of God equity, I need to be wise with the opportunities that have been entrusted to me, by making wise choices with my friendships, time, and activities. One thing I know is that in these decisions to follow wisdom, will be great reward.  How does this speak too you?

I am Ms. Wheelchair Washington!!!

Today was such a magical day! Including a magical bathroom! I know that sounds funny, but it's true.  getting to the pageant was stressful. We got lost 8 miles in wrong direction which was stressful and my fault for not printing out the directions.  So, when I got there I was stressed. But I really needed to use the bathroom. So, I go into the ladies room and there is a ceiling speaker blaring the song, "You Are So Beautiful too Me."  I felt that heaven was serenading me.  So, first, I went into the initial interviews with the judges.  That went well, as the judges were people I connected with and comfortably shared my story and vision in being Ms. Wheelchair Wa.  Following the interviews was a short break before the speeches and questioning from the judges in front of the crowd . Again, I went too the bathroom!  The song "Hero" was playing, by Mariah Carey, which is one of my all-time favorite songs!  It really ministered too me and inspired me.  Right before my speech I found a quiet place where I could connect with the Lord alone.  I gave Him my fear and received empowerment by the Holy Spirit.  When I did my speech, my heart was pounding, but everything came out elaquently. MIRACLE!!  After I received the crown, a joy like I have never known came over me!!  Then, miracles started to happen! I made connections with a man named Marty, who knows a publisher he can connect me with to help publish my childrens' book. I met the owner of kersey mobility, who wants to help me with the process of getting a modified van. And I connected with women who do make up and hair and offered their services to me. I also connected with several other prominent  public speakers.  What a miraculous day!!  am so excited for what this year holds! Praise the Lord!!!

Children's book

I am writing a children's book to compliment my "Power of Words" presentations.  Here is y rough draft. Please give me feedback!

Children’s book

 Title: Words Have Power

(Not illustrated, pics of me and real people.)

Hello, my name is Jennifer Lynn Adams.

I was born with missing limbs. (Pic  of me as a baby.)

I grew up in a big family. (pic of my family)

In a small town. (Pic of small town)

I use a wheelchair to get from place to place.  (pic of me in my wheelchair)

When I am at home I move around outside of my wheelchair. (pics of me at home)

When I was a kid, other kids would tease me because I looked different.

Being teased hurt my feelings and made me scared to go to school (sad face pic)

When I grew up and went to college (pic at PLU)

I made friends who spoke kind and true words to me.  (Pic of college friends)

They said “You are beautiful.”  “You’re life has purpose.” “Your story will change lives.”

Their kind words and friendship took away the hurtful words said to me in school and made me happy to be me! (happy pic)

WORDS HAVE POWER! (Full page)

POWER TO BULID UP! (pic build up)

 OR TEAR DOWN! (tear down pic)

Your good words and kind actions are POWERFUL!

The same way my friends help me, you can help others be happy too!!

Your WORDS HAVE POWER!

Start now! (pic starting line)

Watch the power of your good words and actions

Build up other’s around you! (pic of happy kids)

Say it out loud!

“I will use my words to build others up!” “I will use my actions to help others around me!.”

WORDS HAVE POWER!!

The end

New thing!

This week was both challenging and thrilling!!  I am stepping up too the plate in a whole new way with my speaking business.  I'm already signed up for 5 events next month!  There is a new season ahead of change and adventure!! God is doing a new thing!! Last night, my roommate Ariel and I were talking, and I said "Our lives are changing right before our eyes." And she said "Our lives will never be the same again."  That is good news.  I have a whole new perspective for the next 10,20,30,40,50, 60 years of my life, and beyond into eternity.  God has laid a foundation through trials, discipleship, challenges, and learning experience in my life, and it is strong and sturdy, only a work that His Spirit could do. Now, just like a ninja, or warrior, I must take everything I have learned and put it into action.  Living for God is so exciting!!  I have seen through the experiences of my life, that people as they age tend to decrease in passion and creativity. They get increasingly less inspired, more complacent. They begin to digress rather than progress.  Jesus said if you try to hold onto your life, you will lose it, but if you lose your life for the Gospel, you will find it. I am seeing the truth of this in action in my life.  I am heading upwards, and I give my life to God to use for His purposes!! I am progressing towards all that He has for me!  I have plans to write a children's book, to compliment my presentations in schools.  May you also discover the joy of laying down your life.

What defines you?

I spent the whole weekend at the encounter conference.  It was amazing!!  But there was a struggle in my spirit the whole time.  The struggle was more like an argument between God and I. God saying "I love you. You are pure and spotless and loved." I'm saying "But remember when I did that bad thing or remember how this happened to me."  It wasn't till I got home and started to do some soul searching and praying for revelation, that I put my finger on what was causing me to feel unsettled.  It's kind of been a lifelong struggle of feeling generally unsettled.  I'm sure you can relate. I realized that my struggle was that I always try my best to appear as though I have it together. I want to be seen by others as beng a good person who does no wrong. The truth is, this is exhausting and ultimately ends up in shame because all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. It is so much better to boast in my weakness than to try to appear strong.  I am a sinner, and the only thing that makes me right is the blood of Jesus.  So I will allow Him to be perfect and I don't have to hide my faults and flaws, or my past because God is using all of it for His glory.  He is writing a beautiful story through me and the pages of my story are covered with glitter!!  He shines as strength in my weakness, so I don't have to stuff down or repress my weaknesses or faults, because they do not hinder me from shining. They show others that no matter what you have done, or what has happened too you, or how disfuctional your family is, you are loved, healed, cleansed, and made perfect through the blood of Jesus, shed for you.

Processing

This is my rough draft for the Ms. Wheelchair WA day of interviews and platform speech. Please provide feedback.

Miss Wheelchair Washington

Potential, opportunity, advocacy, favor, beauty, growth, connection, purpose, vision

What is the vision for being Ms. Wheelchair Washington?

·         To shine!

·         To have more opportunities to grow my business

·         To spread the message of SHIFT

·         To use the arts to build self-esteem

What is SHIFT?

·         Motivational speaking business which bears the message of “The Power of Words.” Our words and action are powerful to build up a life or tear it down, to include or exclude.

·         Our weaknesses may be what we are self-conscious of, but our weaknesses are the very thing that shines in the world.

·         People think that having no arms and legs is an impertinence that it is something that needs to be fixed, but it’s not. It’s a gift to inspire others to pursue their full potential. If I can live a full life, you can.

·         I have fought hard to know who I am and sought hard. Many people have encouraged me. I have had the wonderful privilege to find the gem of my identity. I want to help others discover the gem of who they are, whether able bodied or disabled.

What is my message?

·         There is something really amazing worth finding beyond our limitations

·         SHIFT peoples mindsets to see the power of inclusion

·         Give everyone who wants to shine, a chance to shine

·         Words have the power of life and death, to build up or tear down

Platform speech

·         Background

·         Experience with the power of words in my life

·         Starting SHIFT

·         Vision of SHIFT

·         What I would do as Ms. Wheelchair WA

·         Song

Revelation

I had a revelation about revelation today! lol  As I have been preparing for the Ms. Wheelchair Washington pageant, I have gotten a version of writers block. What should I say in my interview? What is my message? How do I tell my story?  This weekend I spent time with two amazing sisters in Christ. You know who you are ; ) Just dialoging with them propelled my vision forward more than 10 brainstorming sessions ever could.  As I shared my heart and story with them, they began to speak into  my life. "You're story is powerful." "Your business is called SHIFT for a reason, you SHIFT peoples minds and hearts. You challenge people to think differently about people and limitations."  As they spoke these words it's like the sky of possibilities opened up over me.  I began to connect with the message of my life, the story that is being told through me.  We all have a story that is being told through our lives. What's yours? Revelation is simply SEEING the big picture of who God is and who we are created to be.  When we first come to Christ we see a sliver of the big picture, we see our need for love and we see His love and grace that meets our brokeness. As we walk with Him we begin to see our original identity and purpose.  After walking with Him a while we start to see His power working through our life and changing other's lives. And then we see all the possibilities our life holds to change the world.  A good church ministry should foster this journey of revelation of self identity and purpose.  I'm thankful to have a church, and amazing friends who have helped me discover my identity and purpose.  I hope you will find the same for your life.

Favor!!!

As many of you know, I am running for Ms. Wheelchair Washington this year.  In preparation for the pageant, there are many things that need to be done.  First of all, just the basic everyday needs of life need to be met, like paying bills, working, and keeping up with church and friends. In addition, I need to earn more money than usual in February in order to buy clothes and pay for a rental van in March for the pageant. It seems like as soon as I decided I was going to run,  a bunch of new expenses started popping up, my wheelchair needed repaired, I had to get a new internet carrier, and during the holidays things got tight finacially because sales always drop around the holidays.  So, for about a week I felt really discouraged and defeated.  This past weekend I started to pray into my financial goals, and came up with a game plan to accomplish them.  I determined that if I sell 2 art pieces, and schedule 4 speaking engagements in February, I will accomplish my financial goals. So far this week, I have sold 1 art piece and I have 2 speaking engagements set for February.  I am so blessed!! My experience in life has taught me that when we walk in purpose, God's favor opens doors so easily, it's hard to believe.  Find that sweet spot of favor, and marvel at what God can do in your life!

You were born to shine!

I don't mean to sound like a Debbie downer, but these past holidays were hard. As everything has started to go back to a normal routine after the holidays I feel like parts of my soul are unthawing. Now I am looking forward to all the opportunities 2013 holds.  I have some amazing opportunities coming up. More speaking engagements and I'm running for Ms. Wheelchair Washington in March.  One of the parables Jesus told was the parable of the talents. The jist of it is, don't hide your talents in the ground.  Lately, I have felt a frustration in my soul, a yearning to be less hidden. To shine! Even a dear friend recently said, "Jenny, you've been hidden, and it's time for the world to see all that you are."  I agree! In fact, I need to shine.  It is a mandate from God that our light shine before all men! It is written on our hearts by our creator that we should be seen, and if we are not, something inside of us is left wanting. This year I will press into more opporunities to unveil my talents. Will you join me? Because you need to shine too!

The lone Bride

I have really been struggling with loneliness, just as a lot of people do during the Holidays. Loneliness can make you crazy, and make you more inclined to do something out of character.  As I sought for resolve in my time with God today, I found this poem I wrote in September of 2010. I don't even remember writing in, it seemed like I was reading something someone else wrote, but it spoke so deeply too my heart. I wrote this poem as a response to a very dry, lonely time I was experiencing.

The lone Bride

I found myself
Like a long lost friend
I lost her somewhere
Trying to find a solution to this ache
But the more you give, the more it takes

I found myself in you
I'm hungry for your bread
I'm thirsty for your wine
Nothing else in this world can fullfill me inside but you!

I lost myself at some point in time
My soul became a dessert
An endless scape of land
Thirsty, thirsty for the answers
Thirsty for love

I didn't know I was lost until the day I was found
You found me
You took me in your arms
And you loved me

You dressed me in a purple robe
And put a crown on my head
I found myself in you
And now I never have to search again

We're not afraid of God
We are afraid of ourselves and what we could really be
We are afraid to take the journey
For fear that we will hate what we find
So we fill this fear with temporary answers that never satisfy

But we have no need to fear
For all of us are fearfully and wonderfully made
If we find the jewel of who we are within
We shall not be disappointed
For we are created by our Father in Heaven, who gives good and perfect gifts

I stand strong and free as I walk toward your altar
You're waiting there to love me, to satisfy me
You are all I need!

Now that I know you
There is nothing I cannot do
For knowing myself is the key to finding everything I've ever dreamed!

Now I'm walking toward the altar with no body standing there
But I'm standing, strong and confidant that I am not alone

When you know who you are inside
And you know your destiny
You will never be alone again

I will forever be free!!