Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Happy New Year 2015

2014 has been an amazing year!!! I said out loud in January that it would go by fast and it did.  Overall it was a very smooth, very blessed year.  This is what I needed.  The year started out very turbulent as I was facing great internal storms, as I ventured into the unknown with traveling and building my business and falling in love.  I faced my fears head on this year.  I tried new things I had never done before, surfing, skiing, traveling to new places and letting love in.  At the beginning of 2014 I wrote down a few goals for this year... to grow my business, take risks, overcome fear, and FALL IN LOVE.  I can say I have accomplished all of those things.  The last half of this year has been marked with quiet rest.  So much peace and healing has been forged in me through rest.  I've had time to contemplate, process, and journal.  My internal systems, my heart and nervous system, were literally strengthened through rest. Within the rest I discovered that in order to fall in love I had to heal from passed wounds and free myself of guilt from my mistakes.  When ever the opportunity to fall in love presented itself in the past I would get what I call soul heartburn. It's an intense internal torment and literally makes my body temperature rise and my heart feels like it's burning.  I had the wonderful privileged of facing this fear this year.  I overcame fear by going to the other side of it.  I am so grateful that I had the opportunity to fall in love this year. I am no longer afraid to love.  I am stronger than ever!!!  2015 holds many new adventures.  I am moving to southern Florida for new adventures.  I will be growing my life and my business in Florida.  I have many public speaking opportunities lined up for 2015 already!!!!  2015 will be a year of transition.  I feel that it will be slower than last year and a bit more bumpy as transition is never easy.  I plan on continuing to fall in love in 2015 with the hope that I will someday soon meet the man I will marry and with whom I will share life's adventures.  2015 will be strengthening, adventurous and filled with new opportunities for growth. May 2015 be an amazing year for you! Happy New Year!!!!

Sunday, December 14, 2014

Energy source

Colossians 1:29 To this end I strenuously contend with all the energy Christ so powerfully works in me.

Until recently I have been in a state of anxiety and survival most of my life.  Just like most people I have been through experiences that left me emotionally traumatized.  If I had gone to a Psychologist a few years ago, I would have most likely been diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder.  Maybe you can relate to this.  When someone has experienced trauma they can be set on survival mode, within survival mode there is a need to be constantly vigilant, worrisome, and most of all, in control. Traumatized people have a difficult time trusting God because it is hard to reconcile that bad things happened and He didn't step in to stop it.   When I started traveling avidly, these survival skills did not help me when I was far outside my comfort zone.  Traveling requires the ability to be ok with not being in control of every aspect of your surroundings.  The first few months of traveling I experienced levels of anxiety that seemed high enough to take my life.  There came a point that I realized that I had a choice, to learn peace, or die young.  I have been on a journey to find true peace for a little over a year.  My anxiety has drastically decreased and my traveling experiences are so much more enjoyable.  Here are some bullet point truths I have discovered that promote peace.
  • My time of war has come to an end. There was a time in my life that I was subject to pain and trauma. But that season is over.  Like an airplane taking off I have cleared the turbulence and am flying in the slip stream.  I can make choices to protect my life because I am now an autonomous adult.
  • Everything in life that is not on the Rock (Jesus Christ) is on shifting sand.  Everything that I had been holding on to that was unhealthy I let go of:  Relationships,  mindsets, sins.  Give God every part of your life.
  • When we are anxious its because we are relying on our fleshly strength and energy to survive.  God has an endless supply of energy and He will work His energy in us.  When I trust God and let Him work His energy in me, I can travel and speak and face the unknown with confidence and joy.