Saturday, February 16, 2013
What defines you?
I spent the whole weekend at the encounter conference. It was amazing!! But there was a struggle in my spirit the whole time. The struggle was more like an argument between God and I. God saying "I love you. You are pure and spotless and loved." I'm saying "But remember when I did that bad thing or remember how this happened to me." It wasn't till I got home and started to do some soul searching and praying for revelation, that I put my finger on what was causing me to feel unsettled. It's kind of been a lifelong struggle of feeling generally unsettled. I'm sure you can relate. I realized that my struggle was that I always try my best to appear as though I have it together. I want to be seen by others as beng a good person who does no wrong. The truth is, this is exhausting and ultimately ends up in shame because all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. It is so much better to boast in my weakness than to try to appear strong. I am a sinner, and the only thing that makes me right is the blood of Jesus. So I will allow Him to be perfect and I don't have to hide my faults and flaws, or my past because God is using all of it for His glory. He is writing a beautiful story through me and the pages of my story are covered with glitter!! He shines as strength in my weakness, so I don't have to stuff down or repress my weaknesses or faults, because they do not hinder me from shining. They show others that no matter what you have done, or what has happened too you, or how disfuctional your family is, you are loved, healed, cleansed, and made perfect through the blood of Jesus, shed for you.