Happy New Year 2015

2014 has been an amazing year!!! I said out loud in January that it would go by fast and it did.  Overall it was a very smooth, very blessed year.  This is what I needed.  The year started out very turbulent as I was facing great internal storms, as I ventured into the unknown with traveling and building my business and falling in love.  I faced my fears head on this year.  I tried new things I had never done before, surfing, skiing, traveling to new places and letting love in.  At the beginning of 2014 I wrote down a few goals for this year... to grow my business, take risks, overcome fear, and FALL IN LOVE.  I can say I have accomplished all of those things.  The last half of this year has been marked with quiet rest.  So much peace and healing has been forged in me through rest.  I've had time to contemplate, process, and journal.  My internal systems, my heart and nervous system, were literally strengthened through rest. Within the rest I discovered that in order to fall in love I had to heal from passed wounds and free myself of guilt from my mistakes.  When ever the opportunity to fall in love presented itself in the past I would get what I call soul heartburn. It's an intense internal torment and literally makes my body temperature rise and my heart feels like it's burning.  I had the wonderful privileged of facing this fear this year.  I overcame fear by going to the other side of it.  I am so grateful that I had the opportunity to fall in love this year. I am no longer afraid to love.  I am stronger than ever!!!  2015 holds many new adventures.  I am moving to southern Florida for new adventures.  I will be growing my life and my business in Florida.  I have many public speaking opportunities lined up for 2015 already!!!!  2015 will be a year of transition.  I feel that it will be slower than last year and a bit more bumpy as transition is never easy.  I plan on continuing to fall in love in 2015 with the hope that I will someday soon meet the man I will marry and with whom I will share life's adventures.  2015 will be strengthening, adventurous and filled with new opportunities for growth. May 2015 be an amazing year for you! Happy New Year!!!!

Energy source

Colossians 1:29 To this end I strenuously contend with all the energy Christ so powerfully works in me.

Until recently I have been in a state of anxiety and survival most of my life.  Just like most people I have been through experiences that left me emotionally traumatized.  If I had gone to a Psychologist a few years ago, I would have most likely been diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder.  Maybe you can relate to this.  When someone has experienced trauma they can be set on survival mode, within survival mode there is a need to be constantly vigilant, worrisome, and most of all, in control. Traumatized people have a difficult time trusting God because it is hard to reconcile that bad things happened and He didn't step in to stop it.   When I started traveling avidly, these survival skills did not help me when I was far outside my comfort zone.  Traveling requires the ability to be ok with not being in control of every aspect of your surroundings.  The first few months of traveling I experienced levels of anxiety that seemed high enough to take my life.  There came a point that I realized that I had a choice, to learn peace, or die young.  I have been on a journey to find true peace for a little over a year.  My anxiety has drastically decreased and my traveling experiences are so much more enjoyable.  Here are some bullet point truths I have discovered that promote peace.

• My time of war has come to an end. There was a time in my life that I was subject to pain and trauma. But that season is over.  Like an airplane taking off I have cleared the turbulence and am flying in the slip stream.  I can make choices to protect my life because I am now an autonomous adult.
• Everything in life that is not on the Rock (Jesus Christ) is on shifting sand.  Everything that I had been holding on to that was unhealthy I let go of:  Relationships,  mindsets, sins.  Give God every part of your life.
• When we are anxious its because we are relying on our fleshly strength and energy to survive.  God has an endless supply of energy and He will work His energy in us.  When I trust God and let Him work His energy in me, I can travel and speak and face the unknown with confidence and joy.

Building your wings

This season has been very restful.  I've had ample time to spend skateboarding at the waterfront  and meditate.  I've also had moments where I feel really antsy and fear that my life is moving too slow.  The other day I had an aha moment.  Sometimes in our desire for something to happen in our life we abandon prayer, patience and waiting on Gods timing and we take life into our own hands.  From my experience the fruit that I produce out of impatience is inferior to the fruit that is produced from Gods perfect will.  God has heavenly treasures in His design prepared for us.  Everything we desire in our hearts has an answer in perfect design in heaven.  I spent time with a dear sister in Christ today and expressed to her my urgency for the things that I want to happen in my life and she expressed the same sentiments.  We prayed with each other and while in prayer I saw a picture of a pair of huge wings and God's hand was meticulously placing each feather to create the wings.  I shared this with my sister and we both started laughing joyously. In this season that it seems that very little is happening God is building our wings.  One day we will soar high above the place we are now. 
 Isaiah 40:31 "Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."

A blog about a log

A few years back I had a dream that I knew was from God. In the dream I was facing many trials regarding family, and anxiety about my future.  I felt like I was drowning.  Then along came a man, who took my hand and said, I have a surprise for you!  He lead me through a field with tall grass but the grass has been mowed into a path.  We walked for quite a distance.  Then at the end of the path was a raging river.  It looked very dangerous, like if I fell in it would be catastrophic.  The only means to cross the river was a log.  As I looked to the other side of the bridge I saw a thick dark forest.  I could sense that the man wanted me to cross.  I turned to him and asked 'How will I get to the other side safely'? He said "Because I will go with you."  I am in a season of the fruition of this dream.  I am adventuring into the unknown and I know I can do it if God goes with me!

Education Revolution

I woke up this morning with an idea in my mind that I believe was given to me by God. I was thinking about education and public schools and the way that they are run,  so regimented with very little creative freedom.

                When we are small children most of us live an existence of playing and having all our needs met by our parents or guardians. This existence changes almost immediately when we start kindergarten and each year of school we are gradually inundated with institutional rules and regulations.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not minimizing the important of education and structure in developing a healthy society but the way most public schools are run we are taught more how to survive small spaces, over populated classrooms, and underpaid teachers than we are to be healthy members of society.  During our childhood and adolescence we spend most of our waking hours in this environment, then we graduate go to college and join the workforce, where again we are confined to a small space like a desk or a cubicle.  If we do nothing to get out of the rat race, then that is where we stay and our biggest dream becomes retirement. When we retire, suddenly we aren’t working and all we know to do with our free time is watch TV.  I paint a dismal picture, I know, but unless you confront and challenge this model of existence you will be stuck in this model of existence for life.
Bells and policies, large classrooms, small halls by which students shuffle to and from class.  I believe that this model of education squelches the vision and freedom that our youth need to become free thinkers and world changers.  Youth should be learning in the community, in nature, through travel and new experiences.  Another vision has been added to my life dream.  In my future when I am a wealthy business woman I want to start a school that has a Montessori style of education, where students learn in a model of freedom.  I'm thinking of an education co-op. Not home schooling, community schooling.  The school would not have a building with classrooms, but teachers would teach within different venues of the community, outdoors and even abroad.  There will be very little standardized testing.   I believe with this style of teaching youth will have an educational experience which will allow them to live life to it fullest. It will show them a model of living life that will prevent them from entering into the adult slump that many Americans experience.

Fathers heart

Lately I have been struggling a lot with worry.  Since passing on the title of Ms. Wheelchair America there have been several circumstances in my life that have surfaced very tender and wounded parts of my heart.  I am now in new season that requires a lot of faith.  I feel like I've been free falling and not quite sure if there is a parachute to catch me.  As I was skateboarding at the waterfront tonight I had a revelation about my circumstances.  Just as many of you can relate to this,  I have experienced words of fear and caution over my life.  I think many of us think that if we love someone then we should protect them by warning them of all the bad or dangerous things that could happen if they take risks.  The truth is that love does not speak fear. 1 John 4:18 "There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love."  God our Heavenly Father does not look at our future and speak fear into us to protect us. He speaks goodness, life and possibilities and then He IS our protection.  He is strong enough and big enough to protect us from all harm.  He has no fear for us because He is fully confidant in Himself and His ability to safe us.  Also, I often look at things coming up in my future and worry myself sick about all the different bad things that could happen.  A thought came to me tonight as I was gazing at the gorgeous Puget Sound.  When a lamp or flashlight lights our path we can only see what is in close proximity in front of us. Psalm 119:105 "Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path."  I think often times we worry about what we can't see ahead of us, and many people get stuck in the same place because they are comfortable with what they can see in front of them.  But I have realized that I am able to grow and dream and achieve so much more when I journey on towards the unknown knowing that the light of the world will remain on my path.  We always have light for today which gives us confidence that that light will be on our path tomorrow.

Glory to glory!

2 Corinthians 3:18 "And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit." 

I have decided to move to Miami Florida.  Great doors of opportunity have opened there to grow personally and professionally.  In a recent prayer time with a friend she said she saw a picture of me emerging from a cocoon and flying away.  I woke up this morning with a vision in my head of myself as a butterfly emerging from my cocoon in Miami and flying around the world.  I believe that we cocoon and emerge many times throughout our lives.  Each time we return to our cocoon we process and create, and then we emerge again, even bigger, more vibrant, colorful and glorious than before.  As we pursue God and His plan for our lives, He takes us from glory to glory.  

Living Waters

This year as Ms. Wheelchair America has not only opened doors of opportunity for the Ms. Wheelchair America Foundation, but it has also opened doors for my motivational speaking business, SHIFT.  Recently, I have had many business opportunities.  This is such a blessing! Yet as all fledgling businesses I am facing gains and losses.  Entrepreneurship takes guts and a willingness to take calculated risks.  Sometimes as I've taken these calculated risks, a deep anxiety sets in. Anxiety that the risks were to risky and I might come out in the negative.   As I have brought these anxieties to the Lord in prayer I heard His voice of wisdom say "Don't try to come out ahead by what you can dig up, instead receive what I pour down."  So I started praying prayers that God would pour down blessing on my business and the opportunities ahead.  Today I was walking in the park and was watching the ducks in the pond.  The ducks were leisurely swimming and I started to notice that they were drinking the water, bathing in the water and digging up grub in the water.  All of their needs are immediately met in the water.  John 7:38 says "Whoever believes in me, as Scripture has said, rivers of living water will flow from within them.” As we jump into the water of the Spirit, fully trusting God, He will direct the current.  And within the water we are cleansed, and provided for in every way.  And within the water is joy because where there is water there is splashing, swimming, surfing and horse play! 

The Bride

The Son, is Jesus, the Messiah, God in bodily form who in equality with the Father took on the sins of the world to create a way for mankind to connect with God.  Jesus is not the Sunday school Jesus that many of you may have been taught.  He is God!!  The Creator, the beginning and the end, He bears the Glory of the Father.  He shines in splendor, with all wisdom and power. He raised Himself from the dead with the power endowed Him as God.  He hold the keys to Kingdom.  He was raised from the dead and went to Heaven in bodily form.  He is in bodily form waiting for a church, the Bride to return to. Would any of you want to marry a bride who had just rolled out of bed, hadn't brushed her teeth, or her hair, or hadn't taken a shower?  No! A glorious bride not only brushes her teeth and takes a shower the day of her wedding, but she will spend months before the wedding preparing; preparing the bridal party, picking her wedding dress, going to spa treatments, going on a diet, getting her hair done at the salon, finding and securing the location, picking the music and arranging decorations for the location. She will also spend months preparing and engaging the hearts of the people involved; talking to family, having Bachlorette Parties, and a bridal shower.  The groom waits. The groom is less involved with the planning, but he supports the bride and waits for the day when she will reveal her glory to him and they can be one and be together forever.  The bride is compelled to prepare for the groom because he loves her and celebrates her and yearns to have all of her with him in life.  Jesus is the groom of Heaven and Earth.  And we, the Church are His Bride.  He loves us and celebrates us and He is waiting for us to prepare ourselves as a Bride.  You see the Church is not a building with four walls, a title and a denomination.  The Church is us, the believers of God.  God is after our hearts and He is waiting for His Bride to prepare for the return of His son.  Right now as the church we are closer to being the bride that just rolled out of bed, not fully awake, bad breath, no shower.  We need to wake up and get ready for our glorious King and Groom.  You are His church and I strongly believe that the youth of this generation will wake up the Bride.  Your gifts and talents will be used by God in the world to bring positive change and wake up the Bride to be prepared for her Groom.

Prayer is Powerful!

As I have taken new risks in my travels as Ms. Wheelchair America I have faced many fears and I have realized the power of prayer more than ever. In the book of James Chapter 5 verse 16 it says "The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective." I am a witness to the truth of this verse!  My experience this year has lead me to understand that if we want to be peaceful, powerful, and effective human beings than we need a covering of prayer and we need to be praying.  For a long time I have been stir crazy about the promise God spoke over my life a long time ago, that I would be an International Worship Evangelist.  It has been 16 years since this promise was implanted in my heart. I encountered the Lord in a radical way in 1998 on the campus of Pacific Lutheran University and began to get involved with a church called New Song.  At New Song I was filled with the Spirit, set free from the sin and hindrances of shame, insecurity, and self-hatred.  For about 10 years I was being mentored, discipled and trained for my calling.  But there came a time that I felt it was time that I transitioned from training to calling in 2006.  The door opened a little for me to lead worship and function in hospitality and do some local evangelism, but a messy church split closed all those doors, and I went through a time of being a wishy in the wind. When I won the crown of Ms. Wheelchair America it opened the door for my calling.  With these new opportunities to travel and impact audiences with my story I began to see my calling unfolding.  Yet my frustration grew that my home church was still not a place that I felt I could offer my gifts and talents, so I decided I would leave church and do my own thing.  I began to experience anxiety and nightmares.  One particularly bad night I asked God, what do I need to do to find peace.  He said in my spirit "Get back under the covering of prayer and leadership at church."  2 days later I met with my Pastor and re-submitted my heart to their covering.  I asked the elders to pray over my upcoming travels and they did.  Ever since I have taken this action step I can see God at work so much more in my travels and my life.  My peace has returned and I can see prayers being answered where ever I go.  I am still believing for a greater commissioning towards my calling and I anticipate great things as I wait in faith!