Living Waters

This year as Ms. Wheelchair America has not only opened doors of opportunity for the Ms. Wheelchair America Foundation, but it has also opened doors for my motivational speaking business, SHIFT.  Recently, I have had many business opportunities.  This is such a blessing! Yet as all fledgling businesses I am facing gains and losses.  Entrepreneurship takes guts and a willingness to take calculated risks.  Sometimes as I've taken these calculated risks, a deep anxiety sets in. Anxiety that the risks were to risky and I might come out in the negative.   As I have brought these anxieties to the Lord in prayer I heard His voice of wisdom say "Don't try to come out ahead by what you can dig up, instead receive what I pour down."  So I started praying prayers that God would pour down blessing on my business and the opportunities ahead.  Today I was walking in the park and was watching the ducks in the pond.  The ducks were leisurely swimming and I started to notice that they were drinking the water, bathing in the water and digging up grub in the water.  All of their needs are immediately met in the water.  John 7:38 says "Whoever believes in me, as Scripture has said, rivers of living water will flow from within them.” As we jump into the water of the Spirit, fully trusting God, He will direct the current.  And within the water we are cleansed, and provided for in every way.  And within the water is joy because where there is water there is splashing, swimming, surfing and horse play! 

The Bride

The Son, is Jesus, the Messiah, God in bodily form who in equality with the Father took on the sins of the world to create a way for mankind to connect with God.  Jesus is not the Sunday school Jesus that many of you may have been taught.  He is God!!  The Creator, the beginning and the end, He bears the Glory of the Father.  He shines in splendor, with all wisdom and power. He raised Himself from the dead with the power endowed Him as God.  He hold the keys to Kingdom.  He was raised from the dead and went to Heaven in bodily form.  He is in bodily form waiting for a church, the Bride to return to. Would any of you want to marry a bride who had just rolled out of bed, hadn't brushed her teeth, or her hair, or hadn't taken a shower?  No! A glorious bride not only brushes her teeth and takes a shower the day of her wedding, but she will spend months before the wedding preparing; preparing the bridal party, picking her wedding dress, going to spa treatments, going on a diet, getting her hair done at the salon, finding and securing the location, picking the music and arranging decorations for the location. She will also spend months preparing and engaging the hearts of the people involved; talking to family, having Bachlorette Parties, and a bridal shower.  The groom waits. The groom is less involved with the planning, but he supports the bride and waits for the day when she will reveal her glory to him and they can be one and be together forever.  The bride is compelled to prepare for the groom because he loves her and celebrates her and yearns to have all of her with him in life.  Jesus is the groom of Heaven and Earth.  And we, the Church are His Bride.  He loves us and celebrates us and He is waiting for us to prepare ourselves as a Bride.  You see the Church is not a building with four walls, a title and a denomination.  The Church is us, the believers of God.  God is after our hearts and He is waiting for His Bride to prepare for the return of His son.  Right now as the church we are closer to being the bride that just rolled out of bed, not fully awake, bad breath, no shower.  We need to wake up and get ready for our glorious King and Groom.  You are His church and I strongly believe that the youth of this generation will wake up the Bride.  Your gifts and talents will be used by God in the world to bring positive change and wake up the Bride to be prepared for her Groom.

Prayer is Powerful!

As I have taken new risks in my travels as Ms. Wheelchair America I have faced many fears and I have realized the power of prayer more than ever. In the book of James Chapter 5 verse 16 it says "The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective." I am a witness to the truth of this verse!  My experience this year has lead me to understand that if we want to be peaceful, powerful, and effective human beings than we need a covering of prayer and we need to be praying.  For a long time I have been stir crazy about the promise God spoke over my life a long time ago, that I would be an International Worship Evangelist.  It has been 16 years since this promise was implanted in my heart. I encountered the Lord in a radical way in 1998 on the campus of Pacific Lutheran University and began to get involved with a church called New Song.  At New Song I was filled with the Spirit, set free from the sin and hindrances of shame, insecurity, and self-hatred.  For about 10 years I was being mentored, discipled and trained for my calling.  But there came a time that I felt it was time that I transitioned from training to calling in 2006.  The door opened a little for me to lead worship and function in hospitality and do some local evangelism, but a messy church split closed all those doors, and I went through a time of being a wishy in the wind. When I won the crown of Ms. Wheelchair America it opened the door for my calling.  With these new opportunities to travel and impact audiences with my story I began to see my calling unfolding.  Yet my frustration grew that my home church was still not a place that I felt I could offer my gifts and talents, so I decided I would leave church and do my own thing.  I began to experience anxiety and nightmares.  One particularly bad night I asked God, what do I need to do to find peace.  He said in my spirit "Get back under the covering of prayer and leadership at church."  2 days later I met with my Pastor and re-submitted my heart to their covering.  I asked the elders to pray over my upcoming travels and they did.  Ever since I have taken this action step I can see God at work so much more in my travels and my life.  My peace has returned and I can see prayers being answered where ever I go.  I am still believing for a greater commissioning towards my calling and I anticipate great things as I wait in faith!   

Happy New Year!!

2013 was a year of immense spiritual growth in my life.  I was crowned Ms. Wheelchair  Washington in March and Ms. Wheelchair America in July.  This fast and upwards promotion in my life was both a blessing and a huge challenge.  As I began to travel around the nation, most of the time alone, I realized some very broken, depleted parts of myself.  In the midst of the joy of being promoted I also experienced severe anxiety, sleep deprivation and emotional weakness.  In this bitter sweet year I learned so much.  I dug deep into the presence of God and asked for healing and wisdom.  These are a few nuggets of wisdom that I learned this year...

TALENTS: Read the Parable of the Talents Mathew 25.  God has given each of us talents. These talents are meant to be seen and shared with the world.  As we shine, we give glory to the Father and share in His happiness.

DESTINY: Romans 8:28 "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Time and again this year I have seen how God works for my good.  There were miracles big and small of happenstance, provision, and changed lives where I saw God working for my good as I walked in the purpose He has for my life.

WEAKNESS:  2 Corinthians 12:10 "That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."  I have never felt so weak as I did this year at times, when I was anxious or sleep deprived or lacking resources, God always provided the strength I needed.  I am learning, that as I admit my weakness and bring my needs before God, He is present and comforting.  Although I have been promoted, I must not put myself on a pedestal, for the higher I raise myself the farther I have to fall, but if i fall in a humble stance, I fall into grace.

LOVE:Romans 8:35 "Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?" I need love and so does everyone in the world and God has an infinite supply.  I discovered that I thought needing love was weak.  A lot of us suffer from an orphans mentality about love.  Mostly because many of us have felt withheld from in many circumstances in life,  but God does not withhold His love, He pours it out infinity.  I have began to open my needs before the Lord and in tears ask Him to meet them, and He does.

2014 holds many blessings and I have many needs in  order for them to come to pass.  So I lay them at the feet of my King, trusting that He can do far more than I cam imagine. HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

My worth

As I have been preparing for the Ms. Wheelchair America pageant I have retreated away from chaos into retreat.  This has been both a miraculous and lonely place.  I have had the shackles of my heart removed.  This is a count of the things I have experienced and heard from the Lord.  Last week the sermon was about love.  1st Corinthians 13 love.  I left the sermon perplexed, frustrated and questioning.  Overall realizing that I have not really loved the Christ loves.  I am intolerant of negativity and disrespect.   I am self protective and I am lonely.  Loneliness is the open door that the devil uses to lead us into temptation. I have been drawn to temptation many times because of the pangs of loneliness.  I have a huge wave to ride and my desire is to be deemed worthy to ride it.  A couple prayer times mark my breakthrough.  I was praying about my hearts desire for a husband.  I heard "Don't settle. Ask him to fight for you. For you are worthy. " I think many women don't fight for their worth.  It is easy to allow the pangs of loneliness to make alliances with less than what we are worth, just to not feel lonely.  "Require the fire for any man who wants to hold your heart."  The other thing I have been praying about is the reason behind why I see that I am worthy of a banquet, but have seemingly only had  access to crumbs.  I heard "Jenny, you have turned crumbs to gold because you have made the most of every opportunity. You have cried out from your lowly place and you have been answered." Will you allow God turn your crumbs into gold.

Getting ready

The Ms. Wheelchair America Pageant is only 2 weeks away!!! I can't believe it!! I need an outlet to process my thoughts and get feedback and I am using this blog entry to do so.  The pivotal moment in this competition will be the final speech. Each contestant has 2 1/2 minutes to share their platform speech and convince the judges that they are the best choice to be Ms. Wheelchair America.  Here is a rough draft of my speech...

I was born with partial limbs in 1979, adopted at birth by amazing parents and raised in a small town in Western Washington. My parents had a calling to adopt children with special needs so I had 5 other siblings with special needs.  The laws that required public schools to educate students with disabilities were very fresh when I entered the public school system.  Segregation of mainstream students and disabled students was still occurring, which aggravated my parents to hired a lawyer and fight for my education. They won, which allowed me to receive a mainstream education and be included in the mainstream classes. This was both a privilege and a challenge, as I had the opportunity to get a great education, while also experiencing being teased and bullied, especially in my middle school years.  A gifting for public speaking, and performing was made apparent early on in my childhood. This passion kept me strong throughout  the challenging times of experiencing peer rejection.  When I went off to college at Pacific Lutheran University in Tacoma Washington,  I had a much different experience.  I was in a very inclusive environment and got involved in campus ministry. I was surrounded by friendship, acceptance, and positivity! These new experiences empowered me and brought to life the destiny inside of me to change the world with the message, that beyond your limitations is fulfillment and life's purpose. The dream of being a public speaker and performer began to become a reality.  Through my twenties I worked and went to school studying Radio Broadcasting, and a Masters in Counseling, preparing for my career. After receiving my Master's degree I had the privilege of working as a career counselor at the Tacoma School of the Arts, which functions in the inclusion model of education.  It is here that the vision of my motivational speaking business was made a reality. In 2011 I started my motivational speaking business SHIFT and began sharing my story in schools.  This March I was crowned Ms. Wheelchair Washington and my platform is "The Power of Words". This opened the door  to many more opportunities to reach youth with a message of acceptance and awareness.  In the three months of my reign I have spoken at over 20 events, schools, daycares, and preschools.  Many efforts are already being made to change the antiquated system of Special Education in American public schools and more needs to be done to have all schools in america switch over to this model of education. As Ms. Wheelchair America my vision would be to take  the message of "The Power of Inclusion" to the schools of America.  I would  advocate to change legislature and the laws surrounding segregation of students with disabilities to be included in mainstream classrooms with their peers. Thank you for your time and consideration!

Equity

I know it's been a while since I submitted an entry.  After being crowned Ms. Wheelchair Washington my life has been a whirlwind of events.  I am so blessed!!! My business has grown exponentially, I found an author for my Children' book, and I am running for Ms. Wheelchair America in July.  With all these good things happening the sweet in my life is very sweet and the bitter has a bit more of a bite.  These successes have strained relationships in my life and I find myself feeling more alone than ever at times.  On the other hand I have gone from feeling invisible to being seen by the world.  This is very exciting and at the same time very scary!!!  Being seen means being pursued by many.  I have the tendency to say yes to anything that sounds like a good idea.  On a few occasions recently I have jumped into agreements and decisions that seemed like a good idea but ultimately leave me feeling anxiety.  Thank God for grace. Proverbs 6 says "My son, if you have put up security for your neighbor , if you have struck hands in pledge for another, if you have been trapped by what you said , ensnared by the words of your mouth, then do this my son, to free yourself, since you have fallen into your neighbors hands: Go and humble yourself; press your plea  with your neighbor, allow no sleep to your eyes. Free yourself like a gazelle from the hand of the hunter, like a bird from the snare of the fowler."   I have learned that there is a way out of unwise decisions, but my goal is to tell anyone who asks something of me, that I will get back to them in 24 hours.  As I continue to pursue God's plan for my life and get more Kingdom of God equity, I need to be wise with the opportunities that have been entrusted to me, by making wise choices with my friendships, time, and activities. One thing I know is that in these decisions to follow wisdom, will be great reward.  How does this speak too you?