Happy Birthday too me!

Hebrews 11:1   Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.
I want to write about faith because lately mine has really been tested. I know that I'm not the only one. You may feel the same way right now.  I am about to turn 33 and every year since I turned 29 I freak out right before my birthday.  I start looking at all things I've been waiting to happen in my life. All the promises that I know God has whispered in my ear that have not been fullfilled yet.  The angst of this tension brings me to feel the need to hurry God's plan along. This leads to a lot of anxiety and rediculousness. This began to come upon me this year all over again, so one of my friends called me out on it.  She was like, "Jenny, you have this circular pattern in your life, why don't you just try something different this year? See what it's like to not freak out, but instead look at how far you HAVE come and celebrate who you are and where you are going." This sounds like a no duh, but it's really quite a revelation for me to absorb.  I'm heeding her advice.   I am learning that there is a begining, middle, and fullfillment of God's promises. The middle season is the hardest part to endure. The middle is where doubt and fear creep in. And questions like, is this really ever going to happen? When this fear and doubt creeps in we start to feel the need to make our hearts desires happen "MY WAY." Something I've noticed when I make things happen "my way", I end up on the dark side. Not fun. And then I make my way back to the light where I belong.  The truth is the middle season is what prepares us for the promise. The middle season is where we become a person who can handle God's best plan for us. We don't just passively wait, we actively wait. Participating in the process that leads to all the good stuff of life.  I have made a strong choice to wait on God's best, to stay in the light and to celebrate how far I've come!!

Treaure

Today has been a hard day.  I feel like I have colided into darkness.  I feel like I can't trust my feelings right now.  Right now the things that I treasure are being challenged. The Word says where are heart is, there our treasure lies. I feel that I treaure mans opinion of me over God's sometimes. I am such a diva, I crave attention and sometimes I'm willing to get it unhealthily.  I know that I love Jesus with all my heart and I want to be the woman He has called me too be. I am so thankful for grace. I need it in abundance now.  My desire is that God would resolve this tension.  I choose Him, above all else.  Where are your treasures? What is God challenging in your life?

Leave your Mother and Father

Genesis 1:24 "That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh."

God says this, in the book of Genesis, right after the description of taking Adam's rib and forming Eve.  The reason why we should leave our Father and Mother, is to become whole. This blog entry is not about singleness and marriage, but about wholeness.  There are countless examples in the Bible of people leaving their family and discovering greatness. Joseph was abandoned by his brothers and rose to be Pharoah's right hand man.  Jacob stopped lieing and cheating when he finally cut the ambilical cord and he became Isreal.  Samuel was seperated from his mother at the age of 2 and became a powerful judge. Ruth was noticed and commended by Boaz, her future husband, for leaving her mother and father and coming to a foreign land.  Even Jesus himself left His parents to live out His ministry.  Jesus said, that His mother and father and brothers and sisters were the ones who do the will of God.  He also said that a prophet is without honor among his family and friends.  You see there is a greatness in all of us that cannot be un-earthed around people who are familiar with us.  For some it is a challenge to leave their parents due to circumstances; disability, financial hardship or GUILT.  I understand these challenges well. I have a disability and had every reason to think that staying with my family would be easier for me.  But from an early age I had a thirst for independence and adventure, and that is what drove me to leave my mother and father.  Now I am not saying you should completely abandon your family, but if you want to pursue greatness leave home.  I left home at 18 and I live a full life.  I have gone through so many challenges to get to where I am today. Some of these challenges were down right hellish, but I am thankful for every experience I've had because they have formed me into a strong woman.  I know who I am first, because God found me and breathed life into my soul, and second because I left home.  I left all that was comfortable and familiar and I found myself. I hope you will be inspired now to leave your comfort zone and become whole too. I have no arms and legs. What's your excuse?

Honor goes a long way

I am so blessed!! Something happened with my job recently that helped me realize how far honor and favor will take you.  I have been working for an Ad company for almost 1 year now. It is a job I get to do from home, which is a huge blessing!  It comes with its stresses though. I have to make Ad sales with my Co-worker and Rep, Daniel. If we don't make sales, we don't make money, which pays our bills. This job keeps me on my toes, but I'm so thankful for it! I am good at what I do and God's favor is on this job.  Now, as most of you know, I am a spit fire, and Daniel has put up with some of my craziness, and does so with great patients and tolerance and vice versa.  But at the end of the day, what makes our team work so well, is honor. There is a mutual trust and respect  that I have not experienced among co-workers thus far in my life. Recently, new management took over our team and was beginning to impliment a lot of contraints that involved us being micromanaged.  I HATE being micromanaged!! Daniel could tell it was distracting me, so he went to bat for me. He approached the company director and told him about our team work and how well we work together, and  requested that I would no longer be managed seperately from him. His request was granted because the director could see that we were trust worthy and productive on our own.  I am so thankful!!!  I know that it is honor and God's favor that has opened this door of blessings!!! I have peace and stability.  Honor goes a long way.

keep doing good

Galatians 6:9 Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. 1st Peter 3:17    For it is better, if it is God’s will, to suffer for doing good than for doing evil.


Tonight I had a realization.  I was feeling discouraged because I struggle with anxiety. I'm sure you can relate. But I just thought to myself, "why do I still feel so anxious when I believe in God? Shouldn't I be anxiety free because of my faith?" I think many of us think  when we turn our lives over to God, then suddenly our life will just be good with no suffering, otherwise whats the difference whether or not we do good, if we don't reap the benefits of  the good we are doing? The truth is, we do reap the benefits. Even though we suffer in life, whether we do good or evil. If we do good, and continue to steadfastly do good, we reap a harvest.  A harvest of good fruit; changed lives, better communities, healthy families, a healthy sense of self.... the list goes on.  So even though there is no remedy for suffering, continue to do good. It's worth it!!

By the waters edge

Tonight I went to the waterfront, which is something I do often during the summer. Accept this time, I had a new experience! A very envigorating one. Normally, I go and sit on the edge of a cement dock in the middle of the water front, but every once and a while a strange man in spandex will be at that particular dock. He plays 80's and 90's dance music and spins around a self-made obsticle course on roller skates. STRANGE! I always get a bit proturbed when I see him at my favorite spot. He was there tonight. So, I had to go elsewhere to find my peace and quiet, which ended up being spectacular!! I found this little inlet with sand and rocks, and I actually scooted through the sand on my bottom and climbed down a few rocks to the waters edge. (with partial limbs mind you. Yeah I'm cool like that ; ) I was literally sitting inches from the water. The tide was high and the water kept playfully splashing me. I sat there for a looooong time. I have seen the fish jump at dusk, but this time I saw fish jumping inches from my face!  AND!!! I saw a seal inches from my face. But dag nab it!! As soon as the seal showed up, so did this couple with small children, the Dad has a cigarette in his mouth and started yelling at his kids which scared the seal away. Oh if looks could kill! I'm a good Christian gal, but please don't EVER be "that guy." Anyway..... moral of the story, sometimes circumstances push you outside of your comfort zone, but if you embrace change, you may find yourself amazed and looking at the same thing in your life, but with a closer, more intimate vantage point. Oh and don't mess with what is sacred by being inconciderate.